Baby Prep

This weekend we bought a armchair glider/recliner. I wanted to get one when we had Liz, but there was NO way we could have afforded one (even buying the crib was a challenge). We picked one out to buy during my last pregnancy and actually planned to purchase it one Tuesday evening, but Drew had to work late. Two days later we learned that Jacob had died. I was so glad we had not ordered it. Now, I have until tomorrow to change or cancel my order. On the one hand, I feel a little nervous that something bad will happen with this pregnancy and we'll be stuck with the chair as an expensive reminder. Plus, I often have buyers remorse on expensive purchases. It's REALLY hard for me to decide to spend big chunks of money. Spending the equivalent on multiple small purchases is one thing, but a wad of money in one hit? Ouch. On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to using the chair and I know Andrew is glad that I finally made the decision. I was spurred on my a soon-to-expire coupon. Also, I have more on my purchase list so I need to move on.

For me other baby prep includes picking a name and birth announcement. We met with some pregnant friends this weekend and I was surprised that they have pretty much finalized name choices for a boy or girl at 12 weeks! I asked Andrew afterwards if he thought they were fast at making a decision or I was slow. Andrew said that definitely I was slow. Speaking decisions, I have recently been trolling etsy to find cute birth announcements. A couple weeks ago I downloaded a bunch (25) after an initial purge with Drew. I wanted him to look at them with me last night to do another purge, but he refused to look again until I got them down to five or less so I went through on my own was able to cut three.Lizzie is super excited about the new baby. She is constantly hugging and kissing my belly (the above picture was from my last pregnancy). On one hand I'm glad she is excited. On the other hand, I feel a little nervous. She was like this with Jacob (after an initial, spectacular tantrum when we told her it was a boy) and of course, there was a huge let down in the end.

I wish pregnancy wasn't so obvious. I wish I didn't have to "show." It be so great if I could just come home with a baby one day and be like, "Oh by the way, I was pregnant. Meet your new sibling." That way if things didn't work out I wouldn't have to tell Liz about another dead sibling. Last time was so heartbreaking. I know that's how life is and I think in general we approached it well, and Liz took it well, and is learning from it and so on and blah, blah, blah. I just don't want to do it again. Sometimes Lizzie still talks about how she misses Jacob in her prayers. I'm glad she remembers and thinks of him. She also asks Heavenly Father to please not let the new baby die. In both cases it's bittersweet.